Newly Single? How to Financially Get Over Your Ex

Breakups are painful and confusing. All of a sudden, your life is completely different and you now need to deal with everything on your own — including financial matters. Even though your heart is bruised and mind is dazed, you need to take charge of your money and financially get over your ex. This is especially true if they handled the household budget or were the main breadwinner.

To avoid adding money misery to your heartache, follow these 10 tips:

Adjust Quickly

It’s natural to wallow in the pain, binging on ice cream and Netflix. However, you need to acknowledge your new reality as soon as possible. If you don’t, you could find yourself in a financial world of hurt. Once you’ve come to grips, you can make a plan.

Determine Your Living Situation

If you and your ex live together, you need to decide who stays in the house or apartment. If unmarried with the mortgage or lease in only one of your names, the decision is easy. But, if it’s a joint venture, you’ll need to partner on a solution.

For owned property, the fairest route may be to sell and split the proceeds. (Or, one of you could buy out the other.). If you are navigating a divorce, the terms of the divorce will decide what happens to the home.

For rented property, you’ll need to involve your landlord. They can make official changes to the lease so that you or your ex is no longer legally responsible for paying rent. If neither of you can afford the apartment on your own, you may need to consider advertising for a housemate, or break the lease.

Regardless of whether you’re staying or going, you need to consider the financial impact. If your ex is leaving, you’ll lose their income. If you’re leaving, you’ll lose their income and need to come up with the cash to move.

Take Stock of Possessions & Debt

A moment ago, everything was shared. Now, it’s a definite case of yours and theirs. Regardless of marital status, anything owned before the relationship typically stays with you. If you’re not married, you and your ex should divvy up items acquired together, or choose to sell them and share the profits. Joint bank accounts should be split fairly and then closed. Further, if you incurred debt together, you should divide responsibility for the balances and close those accounts (preventing your ex from racking up more debt you’d be liable for). Typically, unless there is a dispute, legal intervention is not required.

If you’re getting divorced, depending upon where you live will determine you can seek legal assistance on how assets and debts are divided  (prenuptial agreements will have an impact as well). Be sure to understand the terms of your divorce or custody arrangement, if applicable, so that you can take advantage of everything that you’re entitled to.

Tip: Don’t forget to change the name on the utility accounts! You don’t want to be responsible for paying for electricity, heat, water, or internet after you move out.

Open Up Your Own Accounts

To move forward, you need to completely separate your finances from your ex. After closing your jointly held asset and debt accounts, open up any new ones that you need. Make sure that anything tied to money is in your name only.

Make (and Stick to) a Budget

You’re now in charge of running your own household and need to set a new budget to reflect that. Add up all of your expenses, including debt payments. Then, add up all of your income sources, factoring in alimony/child support, if applicable.

If your income falls short of your expenses, you need to make quick adjustments to your spending/find ways to increase cash flow. And, even though it’s tempting, try to avoid post-breakup retail therapy, which could cause you more grief and regret.

Tip: If you’re new to budgeting (or are a little rusty), try using a worksheet like this. There are also countless online tools and calculators like these that can help. 

Update Legal Documents

Unless otherwise required by the terms of your divorce, now’s the time to take your ex out of your will and off of your list of beneficiaries. Be sure to update these documents and name new beneficiaries.

Understand Tax Implications

If you’re divorcing, consider speaking with an accountant to see how your tax liability will change. Generally, single people pay higher taxes. If your income tax withholding is set as “married,” you may want to adjust it by filling out a new form with your employer(s).

Revisit Your Retirement Plan

Since you’re now flying solo, you should re-evaluate your retirement plans. Of course, a lot can change between now and your golden years, but you should ballpark how much money you’ll need if you’re just covering yourself. If you’re divorcing, retirement plan assets accumulated while married are subject to division as part of the proceedings. This monetary gain (or loss) will impact how much more you need to save. Finally, if you’re going to be financially strapped for awhile, consider if it makes sense to suspend contributions to your retirement plan until you’re back on your feet.

Keep Tabs on Your Credit

Your credit situation will change as you close some accounts and open others. Keep a close eye on your credit report to make sure all activity reported is accurate. If you haven’t already, remove your ex as an authorized user on any accounts that you’re keeping.

Tip: If you think your ex may purposefully use your cards, consider changing your credit card account numbers or freezing your credit.

Get Help

If you’re feeling lost and overwhelmed, ask for help. This is a difficult time and there are resources to make this transition easier. Your family and friends can offer support, encouragement, and distraction from the current drama. Community services can connect you with food, housing assistance, career development resources, and more if you’re feeling pinched. Finally, professionals can help with the legal, mental health, and financial planning aspects of this challenging chapter.

Since every situation is different and laws vary widely from state to state, you’re encouraged to seek the advice of a qualified professional before taking action.

Final Thoughts

Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult parts of the human experience. In a way, your world is ending. But, in a way, it’s just beginning, too. If you follow the tips in this article and lean on your support system, you’ll be well on your way to owning (and loving) your new single, empowered life.
This article was originally published at HiCharlie.com 

Preparing for Autumn

   October is finally here and the air is already beginning     to feel fresh and cool. I've been more aware of the             autumn this year and as usual I've been preparing ahead for the cooler weather. 

  Creating a warm vibe is something I love the most             about  this time of year, that's why I love having extra         blankets in the main living room so we can all be warm and cosy while watching our favourite tv shows, talking endlessly or watching a movie. I also have on hand a couple of water bottles these are great for soothing aching muscles, tired feet or if your feeling a little run down can help for comfort and warmth. 

  Now is a good time to start a car weather kit, Normally   my kit will contain de-icer, screen wash, a car scraper     for snow or ice, a blanket, a pair of warm driving or        fingerless gloves and a micro fibre cloth. Its really        handy to have just the basics as in the UK the weather can go from one extreme to the other.

Autumn hues and scents is something I really adore,   I love to switch my normal fruit smoothies to a vegetable heaven, my most favourite is carrots, mixed with coconut milk, nutmeg and cinnamon, blended together make a perfect smoothie and can be enjoyed hot or cold if your not worried about calories for a little treat add

condense milk or a drizzle of honey.

I can not talk about Autumn without adding a luxurious hot chocolate. Options Belgium mint and white hot chocolate is my favourite flavours, there is something so alluring about the intense aromas that makes me feel warm and relaxed. 

Creating a Capsule Wardrobe

Capsule styling is something I've been doing for a few years and I've found it so effective when  it comes to styling pieces that I totally forgot I own. Typically speaking for me the rules are endless as I enjoy playing around with my  style, colours and textures depending on my lifestyle and the changing  seasons.

Why I find capsule living easier

I tend to work with around 45 items of clothing and shoes excluding bags and  accessories, this is because I wear very little jewellery and own a small selection of handbags, The way this works is to organise first by taking out any items that are seasonal  and place them in storage containers or somewhere where you can access them at any time, then try organising your closet by colour and not type, this way not only does it look more streamlined but, it has a polished feeling and its easier to select an effective colour pallet. Normally my capsule wardrobe will run for 2 months, however I will swap out a few items that may not be working due to the weather or lifestyle changes.

Take a couple of hours to really think about your style and how practical each item is with your lifestyle, this way you can build your wardrobe on items that you know you will wear you may find it helpful take into consideration any social or family events.

Its really important to have fun and be creative, capsule styling can be difficult to get right especially if your a beginner but, it really can be an effect way to spend less time thinking about what to wear and more time enjoying and exploring life.