The Relationship Rat Race Part 1

 

Ask anyone I know and they will tell you I could write  a book about my chronicles on dating and relationships. 

I’ve been so confused about romantic relationship and how we sail through them without loosing our minds 

My man is my partner in everything, for every purpose in my life he plays a part in building a strong foundation , he lifts me when I’m low, he raises me when I’m high, he helps me understand his world,  his life his feelings, and helps to create a safe place for us to grow and flourish. 

In so many past relationships I literally focused on what I thought I wanted. I wanted to mirror others people relationships based on what I thought was the norm. I used comparisons, searched high & low for couple goals on social media and listen to every relationship podcast I could find.

My thoughts on what a relationship needed to bind it together was built on everyone else’s idea and not my own. I felt like I was going around and around in circle with one failed relationship after another believing i was in capable of loving again. 

My attitude towards dating has changed, I choose to be bold, I say what I  want and if it no longer suits I get out, I armour my body with iron clad protection of fear of damaging my beating organ. I laugh hard but I always have the last laugh. 

The Law of the Bitch

I’m often referred to as the silent one , the person who talks less but over thinks life. I’ve been rattling my brain to wonder why they say silent river runs deep.. what is the true meaning .. 

I’m I honestly the over thinker, so deep and concentrated in the process in everybody’s life, I forget about myself. The women who drowns herself in reels, and reels of tasks, never being vocal about what I want in fear I will disappoint , always trying help and support everyone without casting judgement, trying to be a friend, a mother , girlfriend, a daughter and so forth. I have so much self guilt, I feel like I’ve failed to deliver on so many levels , I feel trapped and suffocated, I’m my own worst critic often questioning my worth and questioning my ability to deliver. 

As each task unfolded I’ve realised , I can no longer be soundless and tranquil.  I needed to become the speaker , the women that amplified her voice and the narrator for others who may feel lost and drowning  feeling  like they have to take on the world,  when actually that is so far from the truth. 

I’ve always envisioned, the hard faced person , that took no shit, the women that elevated not only herself but her family and friends a women who stands her ground and a women who is  not just simply existing but a women that is living, her life, dreams and has her own destiny. 

I’ve come to realise that pleasing everyone is something I cannot achieve. Why, because I’m only one person, and it’s honestly that simple. 

Navigating our way though adulthood has never more mind boggling, the daily grind has never more complicated, and mentally & physically draining. I’ve decided my life my rules, that’s  my law, that’s my inner voice finally raising to full capacity and, thats  what I live by these day. 

The Art of City living

There is something so fascinating about living in the city, firstly I must say I'm a city girl at heart but, these days I do prefer the simple life. 

Whenever I get the chance to head to the city I actually used to get really anxious. This was until I learnt how to think outside the box and, instead of looking at all the parts that added to my social anxiety, I began to explore all the elements that inspired me.

City living has always been something I considered as cosmopolitan, chic and living life in the fast lane, it really takes me back on reminiscing about cosy nights watching Sex in the city and how much I felt driven by Carrie's Bradshaw. Carrie was a fashionista with a flair, she lived in the perfect apartment, was a smart independent women mastering the life of dating, friendship, fashion and living life in city of New York. 

Within many cities streets there is never a dull moment with every street corner telling a story and being an ideal place to shoot some of the most realistic images and let you artistic mind go wild. 

There is nothing more endearing than showing life as it happens, the grind, the beauty, architecture, the people, the fashion, the struggle, street performers and endless cafes, restaurants and most of all the artistic features. Art for me comes in multiple forms combining a true depiction of reality,  and in most cites you will find the art of life as it happens.

Fascinating when you really take the time to look around you will absorb the mixture of modern and old buildings and the history. 

The true beauty of any city is to experience life on foot, I recently stumble upon a lovely art gallery while browsing I didn't even know it existed, the experience I received was so personal and warm and really made me feel like exploring more and was more.

 I had the opportunity to meet one of the artist and,  speak to him about what his inspirations was,  the strangest thing is he asked me the same and my answer was simply life, life is by far my true inspiration .

One thing to remember is that living in the city can seem at times over whelming but,  enjoy every moment and take in as much culture and experiences as you need. There is no rule book stating you have to run around like your life depended upon it. 

3 Mindful Relaxation ideas for Mental Wellbeing

 

 We are in our third lock down, it's been a real struggle to continue to feel motivated and think of new ways that I can be creative, the world has been a very different place and I've tried not to mention the current situation but, how can I when it has become a recent way of life.  So how do I support myself while still keeping my mental and physical health in tact.

Essential oils & Diffuser 

Recently I discovered essential oils and how they can help to enhance my mood, emotions and feelings. Essential oils can be used if different ways, that's consist of aromatic use, topical use and internal use. My preferred options is currently aromatic use as this allows me to connect more with my emotions and mental wellbeing. 

I've noticed that certain scents have a calming effect on my mind I feel a sense of relaxation. My routine has consisted of using a few drops of essential oils in a diffusers before I go to bed, normally I set the diffuser while I shower so the aromas can be inhaled as I enter the room,  this helps set the mood creating a relaxation of the mind, soul and emotions for my meditation practice and has helped to enhance better sleep habits. 

ASAKUKI 300ml Aromatherapy Oil Diffuser

KESOVI 400ml Essential Oils Diffuser Ultrasonic

Sunrise clock radio 

I'm an early riser and few years I've suffered with seasonal effective disorder (SAD) which has had a dramatic effect on my motivation to be productive during the winter. It's been such a struggled to get out of bed and start my day, I purchased a sunrise clock radio and this had transformed my daily routine dramatically. The clock works by simulating a sunshine gradually 30 minutes before your alarm. Depending on the brand there are many features and sounds that can help to create a ambience helping you to arise and feel refreshed. 

FITFORT Alarm Clock Wake Up Light-Sunrise/Sunset Simulation Table Bedside Lamp

Alarm Clock Wake Up Light- Light Alarm Clock with Sunrise/Sunset Simulation Dual

Mediation

Mediation does allow you to reset your throughs and relax the mind and body. There is almost a mediation practice for every situation the process of being mindful whether you choose small movements during guided mediation or finding a comfortable place to relax and drift away can bring a sense of calm. 

https://www.headspace.com

Midweek Catch Up

As the days and nights have become darker, I've been spending more time making the house nice and cozy. I've always woke u early to start the day before the kids wake up, it means I can put a load of washing in the machine, write my jobs for day and complete a 10-15 minute Pilates workout. Breakfast is normally porridge followed by a handful fruits to help fill me up. 

The past mornings, I have been trying something a little different by toasting a thick slice of seeded wholemeal bread, with smashed avocado, cayenne pepper and sometimes depending on mood I will have lightly fry some mushrooms. 

This week I started adding to my home autumn/winter collection of lounge wear from H&M online

 

I'm finding the more cozy I become I no longer want to venture out as much. I'd much rather listen to a podcast or watch Netflix. Emily in Paris has been the series I'm watching, its been really refreshing as one of my favourite cities is Paris and I'm planning a trip there in the near future. 

I decided to met with a friend for coffee and treated myself to croissant, of course there are times when you  need to indulge and I would rather save such treats for when I'm out socially,  so I can feel like I actually tried something different. 

Simple Living and Never Turning back LIFE UPDATE

Living the simple life

 

Simplicity for me is always the best solution to living a more productive life, I always wanted to be the type of women that almost has it all but, put together with very little effort. I value my time with ,my family and     I also have so many hobbies and achievements I want to explore and I knew that was only achievable if I let go of the busy and cluttered lifestyle.

Ascetically, I like my home and life to be neutral, calm and easier to manage, I've achieved this lifestyle by changing my habits and making an executive decision to live life to the fullest choosing to explore experiences, travel , food , coaching and learning.

I no long buy products that clutter my home, beauty products that I will never use, clothes that I can not wear nor do I entertain many social media platforms.

 Reflecting on my reasons for living with more flexibility, I don' regret my choice, I feel so much more fulfilled and relaxed. 

What I've been doing now we are beginning to come out of quarantine

Getting back on track has been a learning experience, so many changes and living life behind a mask socially has been a real eye opener, to just how much freedom we had and how life has changed so much. I've been using the time to ramp up my fitness and enjoy more nature walks and short local trips to museums and farms and enjoying some strawberry picking, supporting local businesses, cooking more wholesome foods and listening to podcasts. These simple trips have helped me to understand small things make me happy. I've really been discovering life through a different lens and appreciating everything.  

Updates on content and what's next

I'm working on taking this space in a new direction, I will still be posting on here while I start my new venture and eventually moving over to a new platform which enables me to be more creative. The health, wellness and educational learning and personal development is some of the topics I will be discussing and hope to share lots of brilliant ideas as well as learning from each others experiences. Please contact me at  nadineelizabeth19@gmail.com if you are a health and wellness company/coach or if you have experience with Holistic treatments, I would love to hear from you. 

Planet based or not? Why I am no longer Gluten Free

Simplifying my needs when it comes to food intake why I am no longer Gluten free 

Explaining my dietary needs can be confusing to most, recently I have over hauled my diet after careful consideration and analysis of different food types paying attention to micro nutrients and health benefits.

I have been following a more planet based approach to my diet and in a previous post I have explained my struggles with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)  and how that has effected my food choices.
Like many,  I like foods to be interesting and involve different colours and textures but, be able to be simple and easily obtained without giving inconvenience to others when trying to prepare meals.

The benefits of planet based food also means that I no longer suffer intensely with the symptoms that triggered my IBS for example eating more whole foods combined with the goodness of fruits and vegetables means that i'm eating foods that are naturally sourced for me the results have been amazing, overall I feel better and feel more energized.


Why I don't consume Plant based ready meals or substitutes 

Food Consumer choice is at a point of being one of the most diverse mass markets in the world, Manufactures has taken this opportunity to capitalize on a growing popular sensation to offer an alternatives which is great, when done in the right way, my only observation on this idea is we are supposed to creating a generation of better thinkers when it comes to consumption of food choices however providing processed alternatives may further add to the the current health problems that society is already faced with.
These alternatives offer very little health benefits with many being filled with more calories then there meat alternatives.

Is Planet based more expensive and do I buy Organic versus Non organic

This does depend on location, however most dried whole foods consist of, rice, beans, lentils, nuts, seeds and pasta. These are what we eat within our everyday meals so the price here is not that different, although if you buy in bulk you will find that you save a lot of money.

Some thing to have in mind is that I had to to shop more often for fresh produce as these do have a shorter shelf life. I know that you can buy frozen fruits and vegetables  or freeze a lot of fresh produce but,  for me I never really liked the taste of frozen foods with that being said, I'm fortunate to be served very well with supermarkets and conveniences stores so this has never been a problem.

I must say that supermarkets generally have a higher price point for items, such as plant based milk, cheese or tinned foods and sauces bu,t if you buy there own brand it can be slightly cheaper.

Personally I only shop organic if its within my budget and for this I apply the basic principles of the 12 dirty dozen which are foods that should be brought organic were possible, as these would potentially  have the most amount of pesticides,  and the clean 15 which is a list of fruits and vegetables that contain the least amount of pesticides and should be OK to buy conventionally.

Lastly I would like to say that making changes in any situation should be a transition and should be discussed with a dietitian or GP if in doubt.